Recollection of Signifcant Events in Our Lives
by sakiyamas
Summary: A compilation of MakoRei AUs (mostly oneshots), ranging from T-rated to M-rated. Ratings are included in the titles.
1. New Things (M)

**Rating: **M, absolute PWP.  
**Summary:** Makoto's first try at giving Rei a blowjob.. 'try' for a reason. Damn these awkward boys and their first times.

**xxx**

"Are you sure about this, Makoto-senpai..? You don't have to do this if you're not comfortable."

Green eyes glazed over the half nude figure on the bed that he was hovering over. Cheeks stained red and heart beating fast, all Makoto could pull off now was a smile and a nod of his head as an answer. It was a little too late to back out now without feeling bad over the state he'd leave Rei in. Also, Makoto did feel kinda bad already.. He was so nervous when he took off Rei's pants that when he saw the boy's erected penis, Makoto burst into laughter and was in hysterics for about five minutes. Of course Rei had a terrible misunderstanding over why Mako was laughing after seeing it, and that's exactly why he felt bad. He just couldn't help it, though. Makoto was just so nervous, and he'd never seen such a sight before..

"..Mm," he finally muttered after a lapse of silence following the nod of his head. "I want to make Rei feel good. So if I'm doing anything wrong, please tell me."

Rei's face was just as red as Makoto's face, maybe even redder. All the younger teen could do was bob his head at Makoto's directions. In his mind, he kept repeating how he couldn't believe that someone as innocent and sweet as Makoto would agree to do something like this. It was lewd and one would imagine that Makoto would complain over-

_Oooh God_ what are his hands doing?!

A finger poked at the member without enough force to push it back, and an anxious giggle came out of Makoto when it sprung right back up. However, Rei had no patience for his shenanigans and was already embarrassed enough as it was.

"Makoto! Stop playing around, this is humiliating..!" he cried. "Just.. Do what you're supposed to do!"

First he cringed from being scolded at, but as soon as that passed over Makoto's strong hands gripped at the base of Rei's erected length and held it up straight. One of the hands did not remain on the the base but instead wrapped its fingers around it. Then it came up, squeezing as it when from the base to just below the tip, and came right back down. Slowly at first, but once Makoto's hand stopped being clumsy and uncertain it went a little faster. Honestly, Makoto wasn't one hundred percent sure if this was the way it was supposed to be done. He and Nagisa always came across.. 'stuff', but if anything it only confused the swimmer further and left him definitely uncertain.

The blue-haired teen cringed at the first few quicker moves of his hand, and Makoto stopped. Of course! There was no way he should have trusted those filthy things Nagisa came across and displayed. "Rei? Are you okay? Oh my gosh, did I hurt you? I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Rei shook his head rapidly. He couldn't feel his cheeks. If he touched them he'd be sure that his finger would quickly pull back from the heat. "That's.. Not it Makoto-senpai. It felt good.." Oh God, what was he even saying? This was not beautiful! This was not beautiful at all! "Please do that more. You're doing fine."

A bright relieved smile lit up Makoto's features and he nodded understandingly. Without any more words, he went right back to what he was doing. Hand going up and down on Rei's cock and enjoying the little noises that he was making instead of worrying that he may have hurt the other boy. They were cute sounds that were higher than Rei's regular voice. His hand gradually became slippery with the precum leaking from Rei's tip and the movements of his hand now caused slick sounds to fill the room.

"Ah.." Rei moaned, biting his lips and shutting his eyes. His hands gripped at the blanket under him and clung, nails digging into the delicate fabric. This was so embarrassing, the sounds that he was both voluntarily and involuntarily making, but.. It just felt too good to protest now.

Each time Makoto's hand came up, his thumb swiped itself over the tip and only smeared precum even more. He actually enjoyed doing this to Rei somewhat, but the back of his mind was still scolding him with the fact that this wasn't chaste at all. _Touching someone's... no-no areas? To stimulate them! Makoto Tachibana, that's dirty! What happened to the pure and innocent boy you were?_

Yet the moans coming out of Rei's mouth, the way he was moving and occasionally bucking his hips around in an attempt to feel more, the reddening face and the beads of sweat beginning to run down the boy with glasses' face, the idea of making someone feel good.. For Makoto, they were all too much of a reason to feel motivated enough to do this. This side of Rei was interesting.

While running up and down the underside of Rei's shaft, Makoto's thumb curiously caressed the large vein going along the length out of curiosity. That spot was apparently sensitive for Rei.

"Nn.." Rei half gasped, half moaned. He nudged his hips upwards. "Haah.."

The reaction seemed fine enough, so Makoto kept jerking off his arousal and mimicked his caresses, sometimes making his hand add more pressure around the length and sometimes making his touch feather-like. Now that he was more confident with this, it was time for him to move on to something more-

"Ghk..! Makoto-senpai! I'm-!"

Before Makoto had the chance to ask what was wrong, something warm hit his face once, then again, then yet again. The splatters on his face seemed endless. As each spurt came, Rei's erection twitched. The thick white substance rolled down Makoto's face, getting on his eyelids, hair, mouth.. Just about anywhere.

"T..Tissue.." Rei groaned, knowing he'd dirtied Makoto. Now he worried that the other boy would be quite upset over this.

Makoto stayed in his place for a few seconds, letting what just happened fully register in his mind. Makoto's silence kept Rei on edge as he sat up rather weakly and stared at the older male with a look of worry while also trying to ignore the very erotic sight of Makoto with cum all over his face.

Was Makoto mad at him? He wasn't answering or budging, so surely...

"Rei-chaaan! I didn't even get to put it in my mouth! You're so sensitive!"


	2. Broken (T)

**Rating: **T  
**Trigger Warnings:** Abuse.  
**Summary: **/based off of rp/ An abusive relationship has changed Makoto for the worst and he is now hurting the person who's given him a second chance at his life. The more he thinks and tries to get to the root of his harmful behavior and emotions, the more confused he becomes.

Sometimes actions should be valued more than thoughts.

**xxx**

I've been cycling endlessly through all these negative emotions, how long it's been is somehow unclear now. A cold feeling threatens to suffocate the confusion and make it into something far worse; something darker and more difficult to combat. There's always refusal to show these emotions. The coldness grows somehow even through all attempts to open the soul it only closes further.

Unclear thoughts. Everything so mercilessly blurred. The pain is numbed but leaves a slight throbbing. All emotions put on hold, replaced by that sweet smile. An addiction to pain but the refusal that leaves an inability to feel it or anything else that is bitter. Absolute confusion. Even these thoughts are as unclear as they can get.

Unaware when I feel like this because everything suddenly becomes so meaningless. Always replacing it with a smile. It never fails to confuse me.. the thought that when I feel so numb it's because I'm upset in some way, but I hide those feelings behind numbness and hide that behind a smile.

So complicated.

Endless crying while alone when you can't see me.. I want you to think I'm strong. I do everything I can to show some sort of strength to you, especially after that day. Yet, all my attempts leave me thinking...

Not in this way.

Anything but like this.

Your smile the next day. The way you play it off like if it were nothing, like if you should be used to this. Reminding me that I am loved by you and only I am the only one who will be loved by you from now on. The kisses, the words, the other gestures.. Just so you'll get me to believe that you are okay. I believe sometimes that you are trying to convince yourself of that and not me, but I am never sure of what goes on in that brilliant mind of yours.

Your swollen aching cheeks. The darkness around your eye. Your phone that gets touched and checked more by me than by you. The scars on your body that were not accidental.

Do you feel like a caged bird?

Or do you feel this numbness I feel now?

I don't want you to become me or anything similar.

I don't want you to feel this confusion.

Countless months spent tying to mend something that was long gone. A love gone wrong. Hours spent in bed, crying, wounded, wanting to leave. Beyond a bone, something else in me was broken. A recurring urge to give up forever. The feeling of being trapped somewhere you don't want to be. The same argument. The same outcome. Guilt. A sick feeling at the bottom of the stomach. A desperation to be freed. A long chilling cry to be saved that goes unheard for so long. Repeat.

Do you feel what I did?

Your peace of mind, the person you could call home, that you feared to have wounded is what is wounding you now.

The place of peace has been dirtied by those months and now appears a wasteland. Cleaning it will take long, so very long.. It's a project that is best just left alone. He is far beyond broken and he will be more of a burden than any kind of reward.. the boy who is me.

What made you decide to take that task alone?

Why would you decide to take it in any form?

You saved me. You gave me a second chance to live, to laugh, to love.. I never cried for you to come, you did that on your own.

Was it because we were both broken and in need of someone who understood?

I thank you with everything I put you through.

All the words, good or bad. All the actions, good and bad.

I'm not sure how to feel about this anymore. You've said you can mildly understand why I've done what I've done. You said many times that it was your fault. You said always to not worry.. you build walls so I won't worry about you anymore. I try to block out the thoughts, my feelings, everything that can trigger any more bad. But in doing so, I only confuse myself further.

Unclear thoughts now.

Everything is pointlessly blurred. My chest feels heavy.

Are you happy?

I hope you're happy like I am.

Once so pure then corrupted by a relationship. That's what's become of me.

It's funny, don't you think?

'Makoto beats me because he can't trust me.

'He can't let go of the past.

'He's not as brutal as what he could be, but it still hurts.'

I'm sorry for my behavior.

Living in the past and constantly feeling fear that it'll become reality again. It has.. But it is not me who is the victim anymore.

Knowing at any moment you can leave me. If you did, somehow.. after putting up a fight, I'll be oddly okay.

You'll be free of the pain I can inflict on you at any time for what ever stupid reason.

For now.. Your head on my chest as you sleep. The warm breath hitting my skin. Your blue hair so messy and tickling at my chest. The red glasses on the table... The way the room feels oddly nice with the sunshine slowly growing intense, the silence other than your breathing, and just your presence.

It's because of these moments that you stay, isn't it?

That hope that there will be more like this for the both of us.

Please..

You say that I'm not yet saved.. That you believe that I can do it one day, so..

Stay.

I'm trying my hardest to hold on and change.

You're the reason why I'm going to try.


End file.
